There is one thing that will never change in our house and that is the fact that Bailey and Kenzi are sisters. Bailey has known about Kenzi since I was pregnant with her and since Kenzi died. Bailey does not know the "story" of Kenzi and will not until she is much older. However Bailey has a story of her own and it is her story.
Bailey has talked of Kenzi since before she was born. She talked in her little way of the two of them playing and having a sister. As Bailey has gotten older she has talked more about how much she misses Kenzi and how she wishes Kenzi would come back. It took Bailey some time to understand that Kenzi would never come back but just like all of us, she wishes Kenzi would come back. This is by far one of the hardest parts of being a parent to a child on earth and in Heaven. You cannot take away their pain and their grief.
When I first did Dolls for Daughters and told Bailey about it, she wanted to pick a little doll and mail it to Kenzi in heaven. How could I explain to a 3 year old that you cannot get mail in Heaven? I couldn't and didn't. I cried silent tears when Bailey told me this. She wanted Kenzi to have one of "her" dolls. Bailey knew then that Dolls for Daughters was about giving back in memory of her sister.
The past few days Bailey has been talking more about Kenzi. At school they learned about the Day of the Dead and Bailey talked about her drawing a butterfly that was Kenzi. She said she wished that the butterfly would bring Kenzi back to us. Simple, to the point. Bailey wants her sister back. Today on the way home from school, out of the blue, she said she wished Kenzi were here and that she missed her so much. Every time Bailey says this my heart breaks. I cannot make her sister come back and I cannot give her the only thing she seems to really want. What I hope I can do for Bailey is to help her honor Kenzi in Bailey's way. Help Bailey do what Bailey wants to do for her sister each and every year.
Bailey + Kenzi = Sisters
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Today Sucked!
When you become a parent no one ever tells you that there will be days when you will cry because you have to hold down your son's legs as someone forces him to drink something he isn't interested in having. No one tells you and the books don't either that it will suck to hold your son down while someone feeds a feeding tube in his nose and down his throat to his stomach. This wonderful event isn't shared in any of the expectant mother's books.
Today was that kind of day for me. Karson had to have another barium swallow study done. The last time Karson had one they determined that he had serious reflux, was a silent refluxer and also aspirated into his airway. Before today I knew he was still having reflux issues and my feelings were confirmed. I worked with Robin and Mike again today who are great. Mike told me that Karson would not like taking the bottle with barium in it and that he was sure he would have to put the tube in Karson's nose.
It was horrible. It was so hard to listen to Karson cry and cry while I held his legs and someone else held his arms above his head. There was nothing I could do to make him feel better. I had to turn my face and let the tears stream down. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I tried to remind myself that I am only trying to make him better and help him but he doesn't understand that. He doesn't understand why I would let someone do this to him for 20 minutes. I still cry thinking about it. It was shitty and hard.
It was also hard to see and hear the results. I could see first hand that Karson still refluxed a lot and I learned that he was refluxing when he was crying which is rare. Most kids do not do that and Karson did. My heart aches for him and what he deals with.
When the first part was over and Karson could sit up in a chair and eat food he was his happy self again. I am so blessed that he is so happy given what he has been through in the last year. And you would think that this would end his horrible day. Nope.. He had to have his first Synagis shots today. He had to have two of them, one in each leg since he is close to 21 pounds. He will have 5 of them this season, one every month. I hope this year he doesn't get RSV.
As a Mom I never dreamed I would walk the paths I have walked since I became a mother. No one ever told me it could be so hard and so scary. However I would not trade Bailey and her weeks in the NICU, I would not trade Kenzi and what she taught me (I would have her back at any moment!), I would not trade Kam who currently my Monster half the time and I would not trade Karson who has been through so much. I love my children more than anything and I am thankful that this is all I deal with. But some days, like today it SUCKS!
Today was that kind of day for me. Karson had to have another barium swallow study done. The last time Karson had one they determined that he had serious reflux, was a silent refluxer and also aspirated into his airway. Before today I knew he was still having reflux issues and my feelings were confirmed. I worked with Robin and Mike again today who are great. Mike told me that Karson would not like taking the bottle with barium in it and that he was sure he would have to put the tube in Karson's nose.
It was horrible. It was so hard to listen to Karson cry and cry while I held his legs and someone else held his arms above his head. There was nothing I could do to make him feel better. I had to turn my face and let the tears stream down. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I tried to remind myself that I am only trying to make him better and help him but he doesn't understand that. He doesn't understand why I would let someone do this to him for 20 minutes. I still cry thinking about it. It was shitty and hard.
It was also hard to see and hear the results. I could see first hand that Karson still refluxed a lot and I learned that he was refluxing when he was crying which is rare. Most kids do not do that and Karson did. My heart aches for him and what he deals with.
When the first part was over and Karson could sit up in a chair and eat food he was his happy self again. I am so blessed that he is so happy given what he has been through in the last year. And you would think that this would end his horrible day. Nope.. He had to have his first Synagis shots today. He had to have two of them, one in each leg since he is close to 21 pounds. He will have 5 of them this season, one every month. I hope this year he doesn't get RSV.
As a Mom I never dreamed I would walk the paths I have walked since I became a mother. No one ever told me it could be so hard and so scary. However I would not trade Bailey and her weeks in the NICU, I would not trade Kenzi and what she taught me (I would have her back at any moment!), I would not trade Kam who currently my Monster half the time and I would not trade Karson who has been through so much. I love my children more than anything and I am thankful that this is all I deal with. But some days, like today it SUCKS!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Karson Update
We had a great trip to FL the past 11 days and returned home on the 17th. Just in time to get back into the busy life that I have with my kiddos... Karson was still sick with his cough while we were gone so he was back at the doctor on Tuesday. He was already set to see his GI dr and then saw his lung dr. The findings weren't so great.
At his GI apt we learned that he has not gained weight in the past 2 months. This is not good. It all goes back to what he won't eat on a daily basis and that despite the fact that I keep trying new food with him, he won't do much more than fries and fruit. No bread, no chicken nuggets, no stage 3 foods. So Dr. Barrios is not happy about this. He wants to repeat his upper GI with a swallow study before he returns in 4 weeks. He also wants me to limit his formula intake to no more than 24 ounces a day. One of his meds was increased a little to help his stomach digestion. He also said that if we hadn't already started food therapy that he would suggest that. So my goal in the next 4 weeks is to get Karson to try new foods and to get him to gain some weight. He still cannot do dairy or eggs.
At the lung dr she decided to give him an antibiotic because he has been sick so long. She said she heard some noise in his upper right lung but nothing she was concerned enough about to get an X-ray. I have to up his dose on his regular inhalers to two puffs two times a day and then still give him his rescue inhaler as long as he is coughing. He also has a snotty nose and is cutting two teeth.
So Karson is not the happiest baby on the block and neither is his mommy! The good news is that he will get the shot to help safe guard him against RSV. Last year he got the shots and still got RSV but his lung dr said it would have been worse if he hadn't gotten the shot.
I hope and pray for a better winter.
At his GI apt we learned that he has not gained weight in the past 2 months. This is not good. It all goes back to what he won't eat on a daily basis and that despite the fact that I keep trying new food with him, he won't do much more than fries and fruit. No bread, no chicken nuggets, no stage 3 foods. So Dr. Barrios is not happy about this. He wants to repeat his upper GI with a swallow study before he returns in 4 weeks. He also wants me to limit his formula intake to no more than 24 ounces a day. One of his meds was increased a little to help his stomach digestion. He also said that if we hadn't already started food therapy that he would suggest that. So my goal in the next 4 weeks is to get Karson to try new foods and to get him to gain some weight. He still cannot do dairy or eggs.
At the lung dr she decided to give him an antibiotic because he has been sick so long. She said she heard some noise in his upper right lung but nothing she was concerned enough about to get an X-ray. I have to up his dose on his regular inhalers to two puffs two times a day and then still give him his rescue inhaler as long as he is coughing. He also has a snotty nose and is cutting two teeth.
So Karson is not the happiest baby on the block and neither is his mommy! The good news is that he will get the shot to help safe guard him against RSV. Last year he got the shots and still got RSV but his lung dr said it would have been worse if he hadn't gotten the shot.
I hope and pray for a better winter.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Not This Year, Please!
Fall has just arrived and we have been dealing with colds, coughs, etc for three weeks now. It started with Kam and his cough. I have had him to the doctor twice since then to make sure he doesn't need meds because of an infection. He is good for the most part, the "fill-in" dr last week said it was allergies. Not sure I agree but okay.
I was next to get the cough. Made it to my dr who said pretty much that it would go away and I should be fine. Well not the case. By yesterday it was a full blown sinus infection with the cough. Spent an hour at urgent care with Bailey and Karson so I could be seen. Thank gosh I was because today I still felt horrible. The pressure in my head was way too much!
Bailey went to the dr last week with Kam to be seen and the "fill-in" dr said allergies and gave her some nose spray. She is getting somewhat better but still has the snotty nose. She said her ear hurts though and that will have to be checked out if it isn't better soon because we fly on Friday.
All three kiddos got their flu shots while we were at the dr's office. It was funny when Bailey wanted Kars then Kam and then her. Kars cried for one minute, Kam the same. Bailey yelled the moment the needle touched her and then after. I did feel bad for her but it was funny.
So the whole time we have been sick I have worried that Karson would get it. That is another reason I am faster at getting Kam and Bailey to the doctor. Before I would see if a cough would go away on its own but not now, I cannot afford for Kars to get sick.
Well it happened. The past two days Kars has had a cough and snotty nose. I knew he'd need to be seen tomorrow or Tuesday by his lung dr because I need him to be well to fly. Tonight he cried and then started wheezing and then his tummy was retracting so I gave him a dose of steroids and called his dr. She said to give him a neb treatment, more steroids later and have him be seen tomorrow. Before his neb treatment his O2 level was right @ 89/90, after it has been better. I guess there is a reason the oxygen company didn't call this week to pick up his stuff. We still have his oxygen saturation monitor. Thank gosh. So here we go again. Not at all what I am looking forward to this winter.
I hope tomorrow we get some good news at the dr but I am not sure that will happen!
I was next to get the cough. Made it to my dr who said pretty much that it would go away and I should be fine. Well not the case. By yesterday it was a full blown sinus infection with the cough. Spent an hour at urgent care with Bailey and Karson so I could be seen. Thank gosh I was because today I still felt horrible. The pressure in my head was way too much!
Bailey went to the dr last week with Kam to be seen and the "fill-in" dr said allergies and gave her some nose spray. She is getting somewhat better but still has the snotty nose. She said her ear hurts though and that will have to be checked out if it isn't better soon because we fly on Friday.
All three kiddos got their flu shots while we were at the dr's office. It was funny when Bailey wanted Kars then Kam and then her. Kars cried for one minute, Kam the same. Bailey yelled the moment the needle touched her and then after. I did feel bad for her but it was funny.
So the whole time we have been sick I have worried that Karson would get it. That is another reason I am faster at getting Kam and Bailey to the doctor. Before I would see if a cough would go away on its own but not now, I cannot afford for Kars to get sick.
Well it happened. The past two days Kars has had a cough and snotty nose. I knew he'd need to be seen tomorrow or Tuesday by his lung dr because I need him to be well to fly. Tonight he cried and then started wheezing and then his tummy was retracting so I gave him a dose of steroids and called his dr. She said to give him a neb treatment, more steroids later and have him be seen tomorrow. Before his neb treatment his O2 level was right @ 89/90, after it has been better. I guess there is a reason the oxygen company didn't call this week to pick up his stuff. We still have his oxygen saturation monitor. Thank gosh. So here we go again. Not at all what I am looking forward to this winter.
I hope tomorrow we get some good news at the dr but I am not sure that will happen!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Who Made....
I was putting Kamden to bed tonight as I always do when I am home - most nights. Tonight he was asking me questions... This is our conversation.
K "Who made me?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made bubby?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made me?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made Bailey?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made you?"
M "Grandma" Kam doesn't allow me to finish before I can add anything about my Dad. Kam doesn't know my Dad because he passed away when I was young.
K "Who made Daddy?"
M "Big Sissy and Grandpa Bob."
K "Who made my airplanes?" He has airplanes painted on his walls
M "Laura painted them."
K "Who made bubby's boats?"
M "Laura painted them"
K "Why didn't you paint my airplanes?'
M "I don't paint."
He rolls over. Kids - love them!
K "Who made me?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made bubby?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made me?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made Bailey?"
M "Mommy and Daddy."
K "Who made you?"
M "Grandma" Kam doesn't allow me to finish before I can add anything about my Dad. Kam doesn't know my Dad because he passed away when I was young.
K "Who made Daddy?"
M "Big Sissy and Grandpa Bob."
K "Who made my airplanes?" He has airplanes painted on his walls
M "Laura painted them."
K "Who made bubby's boats?"
M "Laura painted them"
K "Why didn't you paint my airplanes?'
M "I don't paint."
He rolls over. Kids - love them!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Dolls for Daughters - Kenzi
Usually I blog about the kids or a kid and issues. However life isn't always about the living but what the those who have left have given us. Many of you who read my blog know that I am the mother to four children and three of them are living. I am blessed to be the mother of another child who spread her wings way before I had wished and now views things from up above.
As the holidays approach, yes I know we must have Halloween and Thanksgiving first, I want to share with everyone another one of my passions. I created Dolls for Daughters in 2007 after I lost Kenzi. My goal then was to ease my pain and make my holiday season much brighter. Since then Dolls for Daughters has grown into so much more and made my loss some what easier, if it can ever be easier.
October 1, 2010 Dolls for Daughters kicks off its 4th Annual Toy Drive. Wow, 4 years since this all started. Wow, Kenzi will be 4 in January.. Makes me cry just to type these words. However there is much joy in my sadness. This year is the first Dolls for Daughters and Toys for Boys Toy Drive.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
No, no carrots
Karson had another session with Courtney his therapist. She was happy with the progress we had made last week and what Karson was willing to try and eat. To date Karson will still eat Stage 2 baby foods, french fries, cut up strawberries, bananas, pears and small pieces of a Krispy Kreme donuts.
He does not like flax seed in his food but will still do rice cereal. He will eat avocado in his pears but not too much of it alone. He still is not willing to take milk out of any thing other than his bottles. We are not forcing the issue right now.
In an effort to try new things for Karson I contacted his GI dr to see if I could try dairy or eggs and both were nos until we are see again on the 18th of October. So we will have to be creative and try new things.
This week I am to try cooked veggies like carrots - did this and Karson was not interested. He took one bite and moved the food around enough to get it out of his mouth. Also try more soft fruits and I picked some of those up this weekend at the store.
I am hoping in the next week and a half, before we go to FL for our trip, that he is eating more food so my life will be easier on vacation. Wish us well!
He does not like flax seed in his food but will still do rice cereal. He will eat avocado in his pears but not too much of it alone. He still is not willing to take milk out of any thing other than his bottles. We are not forcing the issue right now.
In an effort to try new things for Karson I contacted his GI dr to see if I could try dairy or eggs and both were nos until we are see again on the 18th of October. So we will have to be creative and try new things.
This week I am to try cooked veggies like carrots - did this and Karson was not interested. He took one bite and moved the food around enough to get it out of his mouth. Also try more soft fruits and I picked some of those up this weekend at the store.
I am hoping in the next week and a half, before we go to FL for our trip, that he is eating more food so my life will be easier on vacation. Wish us well!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Avocado?
Karson started food therapy last week and she had a ton of suggestions for us. I have noticed that Karson is wanting more foods but won't try all of them and if he tires them he doesn't always like all of them. He has tried and liked bananas, strawberries and pears cut up. Pears cut up is a new thing and I am super happy about this. It just adds to what he will eat. He loves french fries and will eat several of them when he has the chance.
The other suggestion we tried was adding avocado to his fruits. I added it to his stage 2 pears and the end result was.... He liked it. He sure did, he ate a small bowl of it. I didn't want to do too much because I didn't want to have to toss it. I am happy about this and I hope it will help him feel more full.
He didn't like the flax seed added to his food though. Hope we learn more this week as well!
The other suggestion we tried was adding avocado to his fruits. I added it to his stage 2 pears and the end result was.... He liked it. He sure did, he ate a small bowl of it. I didn't want to do too much because I didn't want to have to toss it. I am happy about this and I hope it will help him feel more full.
He didn't like the flax seed added to his food though. Hope we learn more this week as well!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Lacrosse
Bailey started lacrosse last Friday and seemed to really like it. After getting the gear: stick, ball, eye wear and a mouth guard she was ready to go. Lacrosse is held every Friday from 4-5:15. Bailey expressed interest several months ago about playing and we were going to do this instead of soccer. However somehow she was committed to both. So she does soccer Tuesday nights and Saturday for games and lacrosse on Fridays.
Here are some pictures from her first day... I learned I need to learn a LOT more about lacrosse. So happy that there is a neighbor who knows about lacrosse, I hope she can come over and help Bailey.
Bailey and her friend Eliza
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Here are some pictures from her first day... I learned I need to learn a LOT more about lacrosse. So happy that there is a neighbor who knows about lacrosse, I hope she can come over and help Bailey.
Bailey and her friend Eliza
Friday, September 17, 2010
Fruit for Kars
Up until this week the only "real" food Karson would eat was french fries and that has only been in the last three weeks. He was not up for anything unless it was a stage 2 baby food. However he has decided to try some new things! Yeah for Karson. I am so happy he is eating new foods but he still has his issues.
This week he has had a strawberry cut very tiny but I am happy he was willing to chill in his high chair and eat them. He also took some small pieces of a banana. He has tried banana in the past and hated it. He didn't want too much of the banana but he did several small pieces and then shook his head "no".
His therapist said she would like me to add olive oil to some of his foods to give them more calories since he isn't eating solid foods and neither of us want Karson's weight to become an issue since he is so active. She also wanted me to try to add avocado to his fruits to see if he will eat that as well. We cannot try dairy stuff because we do not have the go ahead from his GI dr. I am also going to try to mash up other fruit and see if he will eat them as well.
Looking forward to more progress. Baby steps, baby steps.
This week he has had a strawberry cut very tiny but I am happy he was willing to chill in his high chair and eat them. He also took some small pieces of a banana. He has tried banana in the past and hated it. He didn't want too much of the banana but he did several small pieces and then shook his head "no".
His therapist said she would like me to add olive oil to some of his foods to give them more calories since he isn't eating solid foods and neither of us want Karson's weight to become an issue since he is so active. She also wanted me to try to add avocado to his fruits to see if he will eat that as well. We cannot try dairy stuff because we do not have the go ahead from his GI dr. I am also going to try to mash up other fruit and see if he will eat them as well.
Looking forward to more progress. Baby steps, baby steps.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Bowl
Today Kam went in to get his hair trimmed and what he came out with was a hair cut. Style gone! Kyle summed it up, he has a bowl cut. I am so sad about this because I love my surfer hair boy. I know his hair will grow back but it upsets me that the gal didn't listen to what I told her. I say every time - we keep it longer, trim the ends, shape it and make sure he can see. This is the only time we have had real problems. One time in the past I felt the front was cut too short but never the back, not until now.
There is one part in the back that flips up too because of his naturally wavy hair. Sometimes it looks like a little tail but if you push it down, you realize it is the same length as the rest.
Oh I cannot wait until his hair grows out and that lady will never cut his hair again.
There is one part in the back that flips up too because of his naturally wavy hair. Sometimes it looks like a little tail but if you push it down, you realize it is the same length as the rest.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
No Way!
I often try to see if Karson is willing to try new foods and will try the stage 3 foods that are a little thicker and have some food bits in them. Today was one of those days. Usually in the morning I give Karson a stage 2 food and add rice to thicken it up. He does just fine with that. So today I gave him a stage 3 breakfast food and thought he would do fine with it.
One small bite in and down. So far so good. Add a little more, in and down. Okay here we go a full spoon with chunks, in and out. No go and no way from Karson. He shakes his head no and won't allow me to give him another spoonful of food.
So I toss that food and make him the breakfast he is use to and will chow down and he does. I am looking forward to meeting with his therapist Courtney this week or next week to see what her thoughts are and how things are going to go.
One small bite in and down. So far so good. Add a little more, in and down. Okay here we go a full spoon with chunks, in and out. No go and no way from Karson. He shakes his head no and won't allow me to give him another spoonful of food.
So I toss that food and make him the breakfast he is use to and will chow down and he does. I am looking forward to meeting with his therapist Courtney this week or next week to see what her thoughts are and how things are going to go.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
A Mixed Day
Today is a day filled with mixed emotions. September 11th will be a reminder of what was lost and how many lives were lost in the attacks on the US. It is a time to remember, a time to honor and a time to reflect.
For our family it has been a day of joy for 6 years. Six years ago today Bailey came home from her 22 days in the NICU. We were so happy to have her home. This day will always bring Kyle and me joy as we remember Bailey's first day at home.
For our family it has been a day of joy for 6 years. Six years ago today Bailey came home from her 22 days in the NICU. We were so happy to have her home. This day will always bring Kyle and me joy as we remember Bailey's first day at home.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I Want Mommy!
"I want Mommy!" is what I hear come from Kamden's mouth at least 15 times a day. It starts usually in the middle of every night. He either has to potty or has hit his head on the side of his toddler bed. He does not call out for his Daddy and if Kyle were to enter his room, he would scream "I want Mommy!"
This has been going on for a few weeks now. A few long, exhausting weeks. Kyle has tried to step in but Kam has a fit, a HUGE fit. It isn't worth his fit to have Kyle deal with him usually. I have to be the one to take him potty, fix his nighttime milk, lay down with him before bed. Anything and everything Kam wants when I am around, I must be the one to do it.
There are days - usually Tuesday and Friday - when I have no help with the kids that I feel my breaking point coming sooner rather than later. I make up excuses as to where I have to go after I lay down with him for 5 minutes. I say I will come back but I never do. He usually is asleep by then.
Don't get me wrong, I love this little man and everything about him. I love his surfer blonde hair, I love his smile, his laugh, his sweet cheeks but some times I want something else to come out of his mouth. And then I remember that this too shall pass and there will come a time when he will say "leave me alone Mommy!" or he will be too big to have me cuddle in his bed, kiss his sweet cheeks and tell him 100 times a day how much I love him.
So as I try to deal with the "I want Mommy!" for the 1st time or the 50th time in a day, I have to remind myself that this kiddo loves his Mommy so much and he tells me this with his cute, soft, sweet voice. At the end of the day, I am blessed to have a child want his Mommy so much.
I love you Kamden!
This has been going on for a few weeks now. A few long, exhausting weeks. Kyle has tried to step in but Kam has a fit, a HUGE fit. It isn't worth his fit to have Kyle deal with him usually. I have to be the one to take him potty, fix his nighttime milk, lay down with him before bed. Anything and everything Kam wants when I am around, I must be the one to do it.
There are days - usually Tuesday and Friday - when I have no help with the kids that I feel my breaking point coming sooner rather than later. I make up excuses as to where I have to go after I lay down with him for 5 minutes. I say I will come back but I never do. He usually is asleep by then.
Don't get me wrong, I love this little man and everything about him. I love his surfer blonde hair, I love his smile, his laugh, his sweet cheeks but some times I want something else to come out of his mouth. And then I remember that this too shall pass and there will come a time when he will say "leave me alone Mommy!" or he will be too big to have me cuddle in his bed, kiss his sweet cheeks and tell him 100 times a day how much I love him.
So as I try to deal with the "I want Mommy!" for the 1st time or the 50th time in a day, I have to remind myself that this kiddo loves his Mommy so much and he tells me this with his cute, soft, sweet voice. At the end of the day, I am blessed to have a child want his Mommy so much.
I love you Kamden!
Monday, September 6, 2010
The Breaking Point
I would like to think that every Mom has a point when they "freak out" at their kids or come close to doing so. I am sure that all Moms hope if this happens it is at home where no one can see you. No one can judge you and no one can stare at you.
Well I had my "freak out" moment yesterday at the pool. I had all three kids packed up in the car, two coolers and two bags of pool stuff and clean clothes. We arrived at the pool and there was no place to park. I had to park across the street and figure out a way to get all of this across the street safely. The idea sounds great... no stress...
After Kam and Bailey fighting over the smaller cooler -I asked Bailey to pull it. I figured I needed to get my three kids across the street and then go back for the rest. Bailey pulled the cooler, I held Kam and pushed Karson. Ran back and got the other cooler and bags. Now I needed to get everyone in the door and signed in. This happened with additional stress as Kam continued to fight with Bailey over the cooler.
As we continued to walk in, I had to pull Kam away from the cooler more than once and tell him to leave it alone. Mind you Bailey, who usually has so much going on in her mind to pay attention to where she is walking, runs the cooler into the side of the building and spills my new $3.35 Starbucks Passion Tea Lemonade. Not a happy Mommy this makes. I "freak out" at both of them. The stress of the day and PMS don't mix well together.
I take Kam by the arm as he cries at me and tell Bailey to pay attention. She tells me it was an accident and it sure was. They happen all the time. It kills the perfectionism in me but they do happen all the time in life. We make it to an area and I want to cry and have a beer.
I want to cry because I am the Mother I never wanted to be. I always wanted to be the Mother who let things go and didn't "freak out" but I have begun to realize I am not that Mother. I expect too much from my children at the ages of 6 and 2.5, I want things to be perfect 100% of the time because that is how I have lived my life. I don't like to fail at anything. But life is not perfect and neither am I.
How do I go back and change yesterday afternoon to not be that Mother. I don't, I have to move forward and hope that the next time I just let it go. I hope next time I say to Bailey that I understand accidents happen and it is okay. I hope that I just pick Kam up and tell him he can pull the cooler next time.
I hope that I find the inner peace and calm that I am searching for and that I no longer allow the stress of life to creep into the time with my children. I only have three of them here and I need to remember in those times when I want to "freak out" that I have lost one of my children and I am blessed to have the three here that I do.
I am sorry Bailey and Kam. I love you more than you will ever know.
Well I had my "freak out" moment yesterday at the pool. I had all three kids packed up in the car, two coolers and two bags of pool stuff and clean clothes. We arrived at the pool and there was no place to park. I had to park across the street and figure out a way to get all of this across the street safely. The idea sounds great... no stress...
After Kam and Bailey fighting over the smaller cooler -I asked Bailey to pull it. I figured I needed to get my three kids across the street and then go back for the rest. Bailey pulled the cooler, I held Kam and pushed Karson. Ran back and got the other cooler and bags. Now I needed to get everyone in the door and signed in. This happened with additional stress as Kam continued to fight with Bailey over the cooler.
As we continued to walk in, I had to pull Kam away from the cooler more than once and tell him to leave it alone. Mind you Bailey, who usually has so much going on in her mind to pay attention to where she is walking, runs the cooler into the side of the building and spills my new $3.35 Starbucks Passion Tea Lemonade. Not a happy Mommy this makes. I "freak out" at both of them. The stress of the day and PMS don't mix well together.
I take Kam by the arm as he cries at me and tell Bailey to pay attention. She tells me it was an accident and it sure was. They happen all the time. It kills the perfectionism in me but they do happen all the time in life. We make it to an area and I want to cry and have a beer.
I want to cry because I am the Mother I never wanted to be. I always wanted to be the Mother who let things go and didn't "freak out" but I have begun to realize I am not that Mother. I expect too much from my children at the ages of 6 and 2.5, I want things to be perfect 100% of the time because that is how I have lived my life. I don't like to fail at anything. But life is not perfect and neither am I.
How do I go back and change yesterday afternoon to not be that Mother. I don't, I have to move forward and hope that the next time I just let it go. I hope next time I say to Bailey that I understand accidents happen and it is okay. I hope that I just pick Kam up and tell him he can pull the cooler next time.
I hope that I find the inner peace and calm that I am searching for and that I no longer allow the stress of life to creep into the time with my children. I only have three of them here and I need to remember in those times when I want to "freak out" that I have lost one of my children and I am blessed to have the three here that I do.
I am sorry Bailey and Kam. I love you more than you will ever know.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Karson Update
This week was a busy one for Karson. Yesterday he was evaluated by Child Find to see if he would need OT for his eating issues. He is a year old and does not eat solids. He eats stage 2 foods unless they are fruit and then he will stage 3. He is not interested in table food and is not interested in the stage 3 foods that have chunks in them.
After the 45 minutes of meeting with Child Find it was determined that he will have OT 1 time a week for at least 6 months. He is 3-6 months behind with what he eats. I am not sure at this point exactly will be done with him and for him but I am ready for him to eat more solid foods.
We will just add this appointment to our weekly to-do's and hope it all goes well. We are looking forward to a weekend of fun and sun.
After the 45 minutes of meeting with Child Find it was determined that he will have OT 1 time a week for at least 6 months. He is 3-6 months behind with what he eats. I am not sure at this point exactly will be done with him and for him but I am ready for him to eat more solid foods.
We will just add this appointment to our weekly to-do's and hope it all goes well. We are looking forward to a weekend of fun and sun.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Hard Choices
Being a parent is a hard job but one that I love doing. I love all of my children more than anything in the world. I would do anything for them. Sometimes being a parent is all fun, it is work and some times the kiddos aren't happy with you.
Bailey has been pinching Kam for a few weeks now. I have tried and tried to have her work on this but nothing has worked. Not being allowed to watch shows, not having her iPod, having to go to her room.. None of it works.
What happens now if Bailey pinches her brother? She must select one of her toys and give it to Goodwill. She is not happy about this but it what she must do. I hope over time she stops and then no longer has to give up her toys. However I hope it also makes her learn not to pinch her brother.
So far she has given up two...
Bailey has been pinching Kam for a few weeks now. I have tried and tried to have her work on this but nothing has worked. Not being allowed to watch shows, not having her iPod, having to go to her room.. None of it works.
What happens now if Bailey pinches her brother? She must select one of her toys and give it to Goodwill. She is not happy about this but it what she must do. I hope over time she stops and then no longer has to give up her toys. However I hope it also makes her learn not to pinch her brother.
So far she has given up two...
Monday, August 30, 2010
Karson - A New Tube
Today Karson had to go under again for what we thought would be getting some dried blood out of his left ear so his tube would work. On August 2nd he got tubes in both ears. A day later he had blood in his ear and it didn't stop for a few days. He had seen the ENT 2 times after this and last week she said she could not get the final scab off without hurting him or making him really upset so we needed to put him under again. I was so upset after the last visit because we had to hold him down for so long.
Today he was taken back and the report came back that his tube had fallen out and the hole was closed. She found this out after the scab was removed. So it was a good thing he was back. New tube, no blood thus far. The right tube looks great.
Hope and pray this is the last time this year we have to have Karson go under. He did really well this time waking up which was made it easier for all of us.
Today he was taken back and the report came back that his tube had fallen out and the hole was closed. She found this out after the scab was removed. So it was a good thing he was back. New tube, no blood thus far. The right tube looks great.
Hope and pray this is the last time this year we have to have Karson go under. He did really well this time waking up which was made it easier for all of us.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Dolls for Daughters and Kenzi's Kidz
Dolls for Daughters and Kenzi's Kidz is having an amazing year! I could not be more pleased with the year we have had since becoming a nonprofit in 2009. Our Silent Auction last month raised over $5,200 for DfD and KK.
On August 1st we had our first Kenzi's Kidz family selected and the family is amazing! Marcellina is a mother of 4 and she is working hard to create a stable life for her children. I am looking forwad to a rewarding year with her family.
Time to get busy! October 1st we kick off our 4th annual toy drive. This year we are Dolls for Daughters and Toys for Boys! We will be collecting toys for girls and boys ages birth to 18. We will donate 500 new dolls to the charities we have been working with the past years and we will give away an additional 3,000 toys on December 11th! This is my dream come true. Hosting an event for children in our community to give away toys for the holidays!
Please think of DfD this holiday season when you are out shopping for toys! We need all the help we can get!
Visit our website for more information.. www.DollsforDaughters.com/blog.
What a difference Kenzi has made since 2007! I love and miss you sweet girl! xoxo Mommy
On August 1st we had our first Kenzi's Kidz family selected and the family is amazing! Marcellina is a mother of 4 and she is working hard to create a stable life for her children. I am looking forwad to a rewarding year with her family.
Time to get busy! October 1st we kick off our 4th annual toy drive. This year we are Dolls for Daughters and Toys for Boys! We will be collecting toys for girls and boys ages birth to 18. We will donate 500 new dolls to the charities we have been working with the past years and we will give away an additional 3,000 toys on December 11th! This is my dream come true. Hosting an event for children in our community to give away toys for the holidays!
Please think of DfD this holiday season when you are out shopping for toys! We need all the help we can get!
Visit our website for more information.. www.DollsforDaughters.com/blog.
What a difference Kenzi has made since 2007! I love and miss you sweet girl! xoxo Mommy
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Bailey's in 1st Grade
Today Bailey started 1st grade. It is hard to imagine she is already 6 and in 1st grade. She is such an amazing daughter and person. She is still so thoughtful (most of the time) and is ready to spread her wings and be a "gril". She is ready to have her time away from Kamden but he just loves her so much.
Bailey is playing soccer and lacrosse this fall and seems excited for both. She continues to swim one day a week and has loved going to our pool over the summer. Here are some photos from her birthay and the first day of school.
Bailey is playing soccer and lacrosse this fall and seems excited for both. She continues to swim one day a week and has loved going to our pool over the summer. Here are some photos from her birthay and the first day of school.
Bailey on the morning of her birthday with a gift.
Bailey and her brownie cake
Bailey and her cake!
Bailey's first day of 1st Grade!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Karson Update
Karson turned 1 on August 5th! What a year he has had. We hope things will look up for him in his 2nd year of life.
He saw his lung dr about two weeks ago and she is happy with how he has done over the summer. She has not changed any of his meds and hopes he does well with fall coming. She did say that if he does get sick that she will want to see what virus it is. We go back in 4-6 weeks.
Karson saw Dr Tucker on Monday for his one year check up. He weighs 20 pounds 7 ounces - 20%tile. His length is 30.5" -75%tile. His head is 48.5 cm - 90%tile. All my kids have big heads... We discussed Karson's eating and how he does not like foods with much texture. He has just started eating a whole puff without me having to break it apart. He doesn't like many of the stage 3 foods and is still on neocate. Dr Tucker suggested we contact Child Find/Denver Options to set up an evaluation. He might need OT for his food issues and this should help with his speech. They are backed up at Child Find so I have to wait for them to call me to set up an appointment and then hope we get in in the next few months. Other than those issues, Dr Tucker thinks he is doing great. However if he is not off the neocate by 15 months he wants him to see an algerist.
Karson had tubes put in his ears a week ago Monday after 7 ear infections in one year. He did pretty good but has had some blood draining from his left ear. We follow up next week with his ENT rather than 4-6 weeks. We will still see her and get his hearing checked in 4-6 weeks.
We follow up with Dr. Barrios on the 17th to see about trying a new formula again with Karson. He does not want Karson having milk until we can get him off the neocate and see how he does. The last time we tried it increased his spitting up by a lot.
So that is what is new with Karson. He is not walking yet but can get around fast on all fours. He also pulls himself up on everything.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Update..
It has been over a month since I have blogged. Life has just been so busy for us.
Bailey, Kamden, my Mom and I had a wonderful time in Japan seeing my brother and his family. We were busy for most the time we were there. We spent 12 wonderful days with them and traveled for 2 full days. The flight over wasn't as bad as the flight back. No sleep was had by the adults on the way home. Kam and Bailey did great on all the flights. Three planes each way. I took over 1000 photos while we were there. I love my new camera. A few photos from the trip.. 
Kyle has been busy with work. Just got home from 7 days in Canada for a convention. I am running a 10k tomorrow in the Springs. Life keeps us busy. Hope all of you are doing well.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Quick Post before Japan
What a week this has been, well maybe month. Karson had another ear infection the beginning of the month. Last week Bailey had strep and now we are almost on a plane bound for Japan. As I write this, I think of how much I will miss my sweet baby boy Karson. When I said I would go and made the decision to go without Karson, I had no idea how much my heart would ache the night before I leave and I did not realize that the tears would come. I did not think that talking about leaving him would cause me to choke back the tears.
What I do know is that I love my children more than anything else in the world. This is exactly why Karson is better off at home than with me in Japan. His health is much more important than a trip. I will miss his laugh. I will miss the way he smiles and tries to bite my nose while hanging on to my hair and then giggling. I will miss his waddle crawl. I will miss his cries, his wimpers and his smell. I will miss the hugs. I know I will cry tears of saddness as I say goodbye to Karson tomorrow morning. I will cry as I walk away to check in.
My heart is torn between leaving Karson and seeing my brother and his family. It has been a long year and a half. I have missed the calls to my brother every week. I have missed hearing his voice whenever I needed to just hear it. I have missed seeing them so much. So as I write I am also very excited to see all of them - Chris, Nora, Allie, Allysa and Jake. I know I will cry tears of joy the moment I see them. We will have so much fun being together, sharing the next 2 weeks and creating lasting memories for all of us. Moments we will charish the rest of our lives. A trip our kids will remember and a bond that will be created between our children.
It is time to go.. I am leaving on a Jet Plane tomorrow....
What I do know is that I love my children more than anything else in the world. This is exactly why Karson is better off at home than with me in Japan. His health is much more important than a trip. I will miss his laugh. I will miss the way he smiles and tries to bite my nose while hanging on to my hair and then giggling. I will miss his waddle crawl. I will miss his cries, his wimpers and his smell. I will miss the hugs. I know I will cry tears of saddness as I say goodbye to Karson tomorrow morning. I will cry as I walk away to check in.
My heart is torn between leaving Karson and seeing my brother and his family. It has been a long year and a half. I have missed the calls to my brother every week. I have missed hearing his voice whenever I needed to just hear it. I have missed seeing them so much. So as I write I am also very excited to see all of them - Chris, Nora, Allie, Allysa and Jake. I know I will cry tears of joy the moment I see them. We will have so much fun being together, sharing the next 2 weeks and creating lasting memories for all of us. Moments we will charish the rest of our lives. A trip our kids will remember and a bond that will be created between our children.
It is time to go.. I am leaving on a Jet Plane tomorrow....
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Updates, Updates, Updates
So life has been pretty crazy for us and I have not had a chance to blog about any of it! So lets start with Karson...
Karson is doing great! He still has reflux issues but nothing more. He now has two top teeth that are in at the tips and pushing more. He had a follow up with Dr. Barrios, his GI dr and we all agree to wait on the surgery. I want to see if he will grow out of his reflux which Dr. Barrios said could be between 9-18 months. So we are there right now in that window. No rush for me to put him under.
Kam finished his first year of preschool. He did great and loved it! He is 100% potty trained during the day and 95% at night. This is GREAT for me! I am over two in diapers/pull ups. He has been busy playing at home while Bailey is still in school. He will do summer camp in July and then starts M-F morning preschool.
Bailey is almost done with being a "K" and will be a first grader in a week. Wow how fast time goes. I still remember holding her in the NICU when she was a baby. She is so tall and thin and is turning into such a big girl. She had her first sleep over at a friends house last night and didn't want to come home. She also has a "boyfriend". Ty lives across the street and they have a ton of fun together. He is moving back to Boulder in a few weeks and she already said she will miss him. She just finished spring soccer and did amazing! She scored in almost every game and played so hard. We are going to have her play this summer as well. She is on a team with kids she has played with since she was 3.
Kyle just finished a trial on Thursday and won. He did the whole thing by himself. 12 witnesses, opening statements and closing statements. He worked hard and did a great job. He is traveling this weekend to Rosie's daughter's graduation in TX and then home for a week then to VA for depos until right before we leave for Japan.
Bailey, Kam, my Mom and I leave for Japan June 10th for two weeks to see my brother and his family. I couldn't be more excited but so sad at the same time. I am going to miss Karson so much. I have never been away from one of my children for 2 weeks. If Karson were older I am sure I wouldn't be doing this but he won't remember that I was gone that long. We should have an amazing time while we are in Japan.
While we are gone Kyle will have a team of help. Suay is here and his Mom will be flying in to help as well. I am sure with 3 to 1 all things will be fine. It is just teaching Kyle the 6 am schedule of Karson.
Well I think that is the update for now! =)
Karson is doing great! He still has reflux issues but nothing more. He now has two top teeth that are in at the tips and pushing more. He had a follow up with Dr. Barrios, his GI dr and we all agree to wait on the surgery. I want to see if he will grow out of his reflux which Dr. Barrios said could be between 9-18 months. So we are there right now in that window. No rush for me to put him under.
Kam finished his first year of preschool. He did great and loved it! He is 100% potty trained during the day and 95% at night. This is GREAT for me! I am over two in diapers/pull ups. He has been busy playing at home while Bailey is still in school. He will do summer camp in July and then starts M-F morning preschool.
Bailey is almost done with being a "K" and will be a first grader in a week. Wow how fast time goes. I still remember holding her in the NICU when she was a baby. She is so tall and thin and is turning into such a big girl. She had her first sleep over at a friends house last night and didn't want to come home. She also has a "boyfriend". Ty lives across the street and they have a ton of fun together. He is moving back to Boulder in a few weeks and she already said she will miss him. She just finished spring soccer and did amazing! She scored in almost every game and played so hard. We are going to have her play this summer as well. She is on a team with kids she has played with since she was 3.
Kyle just finished a trial on Thursday and won. He did the whole thing by himself. 12 witnesses, opening statements and closing statements. He worked hard and did a great job. He is traveling this weekend to Rosie's daughter's graduation in TX and then home for a week then to VA for depos until right before we leave for Japan.
Bailey, Kam, my Mom and I leave for Japan June 10th for two weeks to see my brother and his family. I couldn't be more excited but so sad at the same time. I am going to miss Karson so much. I have never been away from one of my children for 2 weeks. If Karson were older I am sure I wouldn't be doing this but he won't remember that I was gone that long. We should have an amazing time while we are in Japan.
While we are gone Kyle will have a team of help. Suay is here and his Mom will be flying in to help as well. I am sure with 3 to 1 all things will be fine. It is just teaching Kyle the 6 am schedule of Karson.
Well I think that is the update for now! =)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Karson Update
Karson had his 9 month doctor appointment today. We found out a few things today not only from Dr. Tucker but from Dr. Guarin. First of all Karson did not have pneumonia last weekend like we were told at Urgent Care. Dr. Guairn told me this on Tuesday but followed up with a pedatric radiologist and they also said there was no pneumonia. So that is great news.
While at Dr. Tucker's office we discussed Karson's high fever and the rash he now has. Dr. Tucker is 99% sure Karson has Roseola. He also said that since Karson is cutting a top tooth, this could be another reason he is so grumpy and grumpy he is when he is not having something for the pain.
His 9 month check up went great. He is not worried about Karson's growth, development or anything of that nature. There is still the concern from all of Karson's doctors about his reflux and lung issues.
Today he weighed 18 pounds 13 ounces and is in the 25%tile, his length is 28.5 (50%tile) and his head is 46.5cm around (75%tile). Bailey was 1 before she weighed as much as Karson does now. So he is not having issues right now with eating.
Dr. Tucker told me to call with any questions and follow up with him if I have concerns about anything.
This afternoon Kyle and I saw Dr. Rothenberg with Karson to see about having surgery to help with his reflux. Both Kyle and I went to this appointment only because Dr. Guarin and Dr. Barrios thought it would be a good idea from us to hear from the surgeon. The procedure recommended for Karson is called a Nissen. There is a lot of information out there about this and it can be good and bad. One of the issues could be the ability to ever vomit again and this is HUGE. Dr. Rothenberg says that 1% of his patients has issues with retching and vomiting after this procedure, that 99% of them do great and are off their reflux meds. There was much more to the conversation as well. He indicated that most children will grow out of reflux between 9-12 months but there is not a "magic" number. He also said that we don't have to rush into this but we will run the risk of Karson getting sick from reflux and his lung issues. He believes in the surgery, he thinks Karson needs the surgery and is willing to do it if we want to move forward now or later. He also said that there are some doctors who do them too tight and some that won't do them on patients that are 9 months old. However, we know that Dr. Rothenberg is well known and has done a lot of these and is an expert in this area. He aslo told us that Dr. Guarin doesn't just refer patients for surgery so she must have felt based on his lung issues that this is what is best for Karson's medical treatment.
Needless to say we have not made any decisions. We will think long and hard before we do.
While at Dr. Tucker's office we discussed Karson's high fever and the rash he now has. Dr. Tucker is 99% sure Karson has Roseola. He also said that since Karson is cutting a top tooth, this could be another reason he is so grumpy and grumpy he is when he is not having something for the pain.
His 9 month check up went great. He is not worried about Karson's growth, development or anything of that nature. There is still the concern from all of Karson's doctors about his reflux and lung issues.
Today he weighed 18 pounds 13 ounces and is in the 25%tile, his length is 28.5 (50%tile) and his head is 46.5cm around (75%tile). Bailey was 1 before she weighed as much as Karson does now. So he is not having issues right now with eating.
Dr. Tucker told me to call with any questions and follow up with him if I have concerns about anything.
This afternoon Kyle and I saw Dr. Rothenberg with Karson to see about having surgery to help with his reflux. Both Kyle and I went to this appointment only because Dr. Guarin and Dr. Barrios thought it would be a good idea from us to hear from the surgeon. The procedure recommended for Karson is called a Nissen. There is a lot of information out there about this and it can be good and bad. One of the issues could be the ability to ever vomit again and this is HUGE. Dr. Rothenberg says that 1% of his patients has issues with retching and vomiting after this procedure, that 99% of them do great and are off their reflux meds. There was much more to the conversation as well. He indicated that most children will grow out of reflux between 9-12 months but there is not a "magic" number. He also said that we don't have to rush into this but we will run the risk of Karson getting sick from reflux and his lung issues. He believes in the surgery, he thinks Karson needs the surgery and is willing to do it if we want to move forward now or later. He also said that there are some doctors who do them too tight and some that won't do them on patients that are 9 months old. However, we know that Dr. Rothenberg is well known and has done a lot of these and is an expert in this area. He aslo told us that Dr. Guarin doesn't just refer patients for surgery so she must have felt based on his lung issues that this is what is best for Karson's medical treatment.
Needless to say we have not made any decisions. We will think long and hard before we do.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Kamden
Kam has been working on using the potty at home and school. He does a pretty good job most of the time. He still wears a pull up that we call a Diego because it has Diego on it. He hasn't worn diapers for over 6 months now.
Today I bought him some new "big boy" underwear with cars on some pairs and Thomas the Train on the other pairs. He has a few with Deigo on them. Once he saw his new "big boy" underware he wanted to try them on. He put on a few pair and then decided he was going to wear them and not a Diego. And of course during all of this he goes to the bathroom on the floor.. However he then went into his bathroom and tried to potty. He wanted a new pair on and was willing to sit on the potty more than normal. We had a big talk about using the potty and not going in our pants. While we were outside he had his poop in them but was really upset they were dirty. So we shall see how tomorrow goes. If he wants to wear his "big boy" underwear that is fine with me. He knows he wears a Diego at night.
I'd love to have him potty trained for the most part by the end of the month!
Today I bought him some new "big boy" underwear with cars on some pairs and Thomas the Train on the other pairs. He has a few with Deigo on them. Once he saw his new "big boy" underware he wanted to try them on. He put on a few pair and then decided he was going to wear them and not a Diego. And of course during all of this he goes to the bathroom on the floor.. However he then went into his bathroom and tried to potty. He wanted a new pair on and was willing to sit on the potty more than normal. We had a big talk about using the potty and not going in our pants. While we were outside he had his poop in them but was really upset they were dirty. So we shall see how tomorrow goes. If he wants to wear his "big boy" underwear that is fine with me. He knows he wears a Diego at night.
I'd love to have him potty trained for the most part by the end of the month!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Karson has Pneumonia
Last night Karson started running a fever and I gave him some meds for it. It went up to 103.7 during the night and only went down one time today. So after a Dolls for Daughters event Kyle and I decided to take Karson to the local Urgent Care.
His fever was still high and they said his right ear looked a little red but not enough to say he has an ear infection. She wanted to have a chest X-ray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia because he lungs sounded pretty clear, his oxygen saturaiton was good. I am glad she did the x-ray so now he is on meds and we have to follow up with Dr. Gurain this week. That will make three doctors appointments this week on top of Kyle traveling.
Karson sees Dr. Tucker for his 9 month check up and then sees Dr. Rothenberg about possible surgery after that. All on Thursday.
Karson's oxygen saturation levels at home when sleeping were below 90 so he is on oxygen. It will be a long night since it has been so long since he was on oxygen. I'd love to catch a break anytime soon.
His fever was still high and they said his right ear looked a little red but not enough to say he has an ear infection. She wanted to have a chest X-ray to make sure he didn't have pneumonia because he lungs sounded pretty clear, his oxygen saturaiton was good. I am glad she did the x-ray so now he is on meds and we have to follow up with Dr. Gurain this week. That will make three doctors appointments this week on top of Kyle traveling.
Karson sees Dr. Tucker for his 9 month check up and then sees Dr. Rothenberg about possible surgery after that. All on Thursday.
Karson's oxygen saturation levels at home when sleeping were below 90 so he is on oxygen. It will be a long night since it has been so long since he was on oxygen. I'd love to catch a break anytime soon.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Updates...
I wanted to share some amazing news before I update about Karson.
A Seattle based shoe company called See Kai Run will name a shoe after Kenzi in their 2011 Spring/Summer collection. As I learn more information, I will pass it on. This is an amazing way to honor Kenzi!
Karson saw Dr. Barrios today for a GI follow up. He is happy with how Karson is growing but still wants to keep him on Neocate formula and might until he is 1. He isn't sure about Karson having surgery but thinks we should talk to the surgeon and go from there. He also spoke with Dr. Tucker and Dr. Guarin this week and says that from a GI standpoint no surgery is needed but from a lung standpoint, he might need it.
So we were referred to Dr. Rothenberg for a consult and we see him next Thursday. This is only to ask questions and get answers, however I am thinking I want to wait a few more months to see if Karson grows out of his reflux and when he walks if the whole issue is better. However since all three of Karson's drs think it might be a good idea to see the surgeon, we will do that but that is it.
A Seattle based shoe company called See Kai Run will name a shoe after Kenzi in their 2011 Spring/Summer collection. As I learn more information, I will pass it on. This is an amazing way to honor Kenzi!
Karson saw Dr. Barrios today for a GI follow up. He is happy with how Karson is growing but still wants to keep him on Neocate formula and might until he is 1. He isn't sure about Karson having surgery but thinks we should talk to the surgeon and go from there. He also spoke with Dr. Tucker and Dr. Guarin this week and says that from a GI standpoint no surgery is needed but from a lung standpoint, he might need it.
So we were referred to Dr. Rothenberg for a consult and we see him next Thursday. This is only to ask questions and get answers, however I am thinking I want to wait a few more months to see if Karson grows out of his reflux and when he walks if the whole issue is better. However since all three of Karson's drs think it might be a good idea to see the surgeon, we will do that but that is it.
Karson crawling... He is so cute!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Great News for Jess
I just recieved the email that I have been chosen as a 2010 Outstanding Young Coloradoan honoree by the Colorado Jaycees. I will be honored at the event May 15, 2010 and will give a short (5) minute speech about Dolls for Daughters, my work, what it means to me and what the award means to me. This is so amazing! All because of my baby girl Kenzi! How blessed I am to be her mother and keep her memory alive.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Karson Crawls
Karson crawled for the first time yesterday and since then has done it a few more times. He gets up on all fours and moves forward a little, usually to get something. However he is not interested in doing this all the time. Another change in our life. I welcome the change. Since Karson has had his health issues it really makes me realize it could be much worse. He could not be gaining weight, he could be on oxygen all the time. I am so happy to see him reach a new stage in his little life.
Karson follows up with Dr. Barrios on Thursday in the morning. I will be interested to see what he says. I have also spoken to Dr. Tucker to see what he thinks about everything. He is a little out of the loop and I wnat him in the loop so he was going to call the other doctors and then follow up with me this week. We shall see.
We just finished a great weekend with my Uncle Lane and Aunt Christy here with their girls. The kids had such a fun time! The noise of little feet running and kids laughing was great. Family bbq at our house last night added more kids. I sure love family times!
Karson follows up with Dr. Barrios on Thursday in the morning. I will be interested to see what he says. I have also spoken to Dr. Tucker to see what he thinks about everything. He is a little out of the loop and I wnat him in the loop so he was going to call the other doctors and then follow up with me this week. We shall see.
We just finished a great weekend with my Uncle Lane and Aunt Christy here with their girls. The kids had such a fun time! The noise of little feet running and kids laughing was great. Family bbq at our house last night added more kids. I sure love family times!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Karson Update
Karson was seen by Dr. Guairn today who is very happy that his lungs sound so great. She is also happy that he has not had to use some of his meds. She reduced his Alvesco to 1 puff two times a day rather than 2 puffs twice a day. She also has been speaking to Dr. Barrios about Karson's reflux and it getting into his lungs. She thinks we need to see the surgeon but knew he had an upper endoscopy today.
The upper endoscopy today showed that Karson's pyloris is the way it should be now. It might have been inflamed the last time and that is why Dr. Stathos could not get past it. Today all was fine. Dr. Barrios now wants to have a discussion with Dr. Guarin about surgery for his reflux and suggests we might consider meeting with a surgeon to discuss the options and see what they have to say. Dr. Guarin has said that Dr. Rothenberg is the guy to do it and that he does a great job and doesn't make it so Karson could never vomit again.
So we have to figure some things out. I have to follow up with Dr. Barrios next week with Karson and then talk to Dr. Guarin and find a time to fit seeing a new dr into Kyle's schedule if needed and have a second opinion if needed as well.
Keep Karson in your thoughts. He is a wonderful child!
The upper endoscopy today showed that Karson's pyloris is the way it should be now. It might have been inflamed the last time and that is why Dr. Stathos could not get past it. Today all was fine. Dr. Barrios now wants to have a discussion with Dr. Guarin about surgery for his reflux and suggests we might consider meeting with a surgeon to discuss the options and see what they have to say. Dr. Guarin has said that Dr. Rothenberg is the guy to do it and that he does a great job and doesn't make it so Karson could never vomit again.
So we have to figure some things out. I have to follow up with Dr. Barrios next week with Karson and then talk to Dr. Guarin and find a time to fit seeing a new dr into Kyle's schedule if needed and have a second opinion if needed as well.
Keep Karson in your thoughts. He is a wonderful child!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Karson's Upper Endoscopy
Tomorrow at 1pm Karson has another upper endoscopy. I am less than thrilled this is taking place but what can I do? It has to be done to try to figure out what is wrong with Karson and his GI issues. I hope Dr. Barrios comes out with some answers. We have to be at PS/L at 11 and then he goes in @ 1. I hope it is short and takes 15 minutes so I can be with him. I am worried because he is my baby!
Tomorrow he also have a follow up with Dr. Guairn. I am sure she will be happy that he is off the oxygen and has been.
Please think of Karson tomorrow around 1 pm Denver time. Thanks!
Tomorrow he also have a follow up with Dr. Guairn. I am sure she will be happy that he is off the oxygen and has been.
Please think of Karson tomorrow around 1 pm Denver time. Thanks!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Dolls for Daughters
Yesterday Dolls for Daughters had its 2nd Annual Dolls for Daughter's Tea Party. It was a wonderful event despite the colder weather and the rain. We collected 42 new dolls at this one event! This is huge. It is a great start to our collection of 3000 new toys this holiday season. It was also a wonderful way to honor Kenzi. I look forward to more Dolls for Daughter's events in 2010.
Here is a link to the DfD blog about a special doll that was donate. http://www.dollsfordaughters.com/thank-you-angels/
Here is a link to the DfD blog about a special doll that was donate. http://www.dollsfordaughters.com/thank-you-angels/
Friday, April 16, 2010
Karson's Upper GI
Karson had another upper GI today because Dr. Barrios is not ready to send us to a surgeon based on Karson's reflux/aspiration issues. His upper GI didn't give us all the results he was looking for. It did confirm that he still has severe reflux! =( It also showed him aspirate into his airway. Not good.
After we were finished and while we were waiting to make sure they didn't want to do anything else, they called Dr. Barrios to talk to him about the results and then had me talk to Dr. Barrios. It looks like his pyloris is better than when he had his upper endoscopy which was of concern when he had the upper endoscopy. Dr. Barrios does not like that Karson is aspirating into his airway but he also does not like the fact that he has emptying issues. So the next step is a repeat of his upper endoscopy. That is next Wednesday @ 1pm. Hoping for more answers to all of this and to make it easier on Karson.
They did say that his stomach seemed to empty which should indicate that the medicine for that is working. Karson still struggles when he eats stage 2 baby food but loves to eat stage 1 as long as it is not peas.
I hope next week I have some good news. On a great note, tomorrow is the 2nd annual Dolls for Daughters Tea Party. Cannot wait for that event!
After we were finished and while we were waiting to make sure they didn't want to do anything else, they called Dr. Barrios to talk to him about the results and then had me talk to Dr. Barrios. It looks like his pyloris is better than when he had his upper endoscopy which was of concern when he had the upper endoscopy. Dr. Barrios does not like that Karson is aspirating into his airway but he also does not like the fact that he has emptying issues. So the next step is a repeat of his upper endoscopy. That is next Wednesday @ 1pm. Hoping for more answers to all of this and to make it easier on Karson.
They did say that his stomach seemed to empty which should indicate that the medicine for that is working. Karson still struggles when he eats stage 2 baby food but loves to eat stage 1 as long as it is not peas.
I hope next week I have some good news. On a great note, tomorrow is the 2nd annual Dolls for Daughters Tea Party. Cannot wait for that event!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Karson
Karson is so close to crawling I am worried I might miss it. I try to get him to do it when I am around. He is so cute and I know he is so ready to crawl. However once he does, my life will never be the same. I am working with Bailey and Kam to keep their things off the floor like money. Kam loves money and plays with coins all the time.
Finally got Dr. Barrios' assitant to listen to what I have been saying and she realized after three conversations and two days that Karson needs another upper GI. She thought she needed to remind me about his one before and when he has had other stuff done. Does she not know that I already know all that? I am not the mother who has no clue.. So his upper GI is set for Friday at 1 pm and Dr. Barrios wants the results ASAP and then she said he would call me with the results. I don't care who calls me as long as it isn't her. The PA or Dr. Barrios is fine. I do wonder what it will show and what he will suggest. I still feel like give it all more time is the best choice. Summer is coming and Karson should be able to battle back from a cold just like he is now.
The side yard is coming along slowly! I knew it would be ready by next week like we were told two weeks ago. I had to give the supervisor a hard time yesterday about it. He said it would be done by the end of the month if the weather was good. We have rain coming on Friday. They are working on only the brick right now, I wish they could have the brick guys and the lawn guys there at the same time and just get this done. My kids want to play in the yard and I want them to be free to roam! I am not sure who wants the yard done more - me or the kids! Sooner or later it will be done and I am sure we will have more playdates then I know what to do with. Oh well! I will be out there with some tea and a good boook or two.
Finally got Dr. Barrios' assitant to listen to what I have been saying and she realized after three conversations and two days that Karson needs another upper GI. She thought she needed to remind me about his one before and when he has had other stuff done. Does she not know that I already know all that? I am not the mother who has no clue.. So his upper GI is set for Friday at 1 pm and Dr. Barrios wants the results ASAP and then she said he would call me with the results. I don't care who calls me as long as it isn't her. The PA or Dr. Barrios is fine. I do wonder what it will show and what he will suggest. I still feel like give it all more time is the best choice. Summer is coming and Karson should be able to battle back from a cold just like he is now.
The side yard is coming along slowly! I knew it would be ready by next week like we were told two weeks ago. I had to give the supervisor a hard time yesterday about it. He said it would be done by the end of the month if the weather was good. We have rain coming on Friday. They are working on only the brick right now, I wish they could have the brick guys and the lawn guys there at the same time and just get this done. My kids want to play in the yard and I want them to be free to roam! I am not sure who wants the yard done more - me or the kids! Sooner or later it will be done and I am sure we will have more playdates then I know what to do with. Oh well! I will be out there with some tea and a good boook or two.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Doctor Updates for Karson
Karson has a pretty bad cough so I took him to Dr. Tucker's office today just to make sure his lungs were clear and they are. His oxygen when he is awake is good and about 90 while he sleeps. I just hope it stays there because he can stay off the oxygen.
I talked to Dr. Guarin today who talked to Dr. Barrios and Dr. Guarin wanted to send us to a surgeon to get an opinion on surgery for Karson's reflux because it goes into his lungs. The final reports from the bronch show that he has stomach contents in his lungs. Now I don't remember the technical term but this is the summary of it. =) However Dr. Barrios does not want to rush into anything considering Karson is having problems on the other end with his stomach not emptying fast enough and the pyloris issue. Dr. Gurain told me to call Dr. Barrios' office to get an upper GI done again because that is what he wants done before any other steps are taken. Dr. Guarin feels that Karson's asthma can never 100% be controlled with medicine if he aspirates into his lungs.
When I called Dr. Barrios' office today, I had to leave a message for the upper GI and then talk to his assistant - who is not that great with dealing with the information and helping parents- about getting in before the first week of May. He is on call this week and then booked until the first week of May. I told her that I want to see another doctor if he does not have an opening until the first week of May because I am not going to wait three weeks for him to be seen for his stomach emptying issues and the upper GI results. She old me that she has to talk to the PA tomorrow and then get back to me. However before she would even let me speak, she wanted to tell me that Karson had something done on Friday and she got the results. I told her to check the information again because he didn't have anything done on Friday. I also told her that I know Karson's lung dr will not be okay with waiting an additional three weeks for Dr. Barrios to talk to us about his thoughts on what to do with Karson.
With all this being said, Kyle and I are not interested in putting Karson through a surgery for his reflux. We are hoping that with time and Karson getting bigger that all of it will take care of itself.
His sweat test came back negative today for CF which is what we thought would happen. Great news.
I talked to Dr. Guarin today who talked to Dr. Barrios and Dr. Guarin wanted to send us to a surgeon to get an opinion on surgery for Karson's reflux because it goes into his lungs. The final reports from the bronch show that he has stomach contents in his lungs. Now I don't remember the technical term but this is the summary of it. =) However Dr. Barrios does not want to rush into anything considering Karson is having problems on the other end with his stomach not emptying fast enough and the pyloris issue. Dr. Gurain told me to call Dr. Barrios' office to get an upper GI done again because that is what he wants done before any other steps are taken. Dr. Guarin feels that Karson's asthma can never 100% be controlled with medicine if he aspirates into his lungs.
When I called Dr. Barrios' office today, I had to leave a message for the upper GI and then talk to his assistant - who is not that great with dealing with the information and helping parents- about getting in before the first week of May. He is on call this week and then booked until the first week of May. I told her that I want to see another doctor if he does not have an opening until the first week of May because I am not going to wait three weeks for him to be seen for his stomach emptying issues and the upper GI results. She old me that she has to talk to the PA tomorrow and then get back to me. However before she would even let me speak, she wanted to tell me that Karson had something done on Friday and she got the results. I told her to check the information again because he didn't have anything done on Friday. I also told her that I know Karson's lung dr will not be okay with waiting an additional three weeks for Dr. Barrios to talk to us about his thoughts on what to do with Karson.
With all this being said, Kyle and I are not interested in putting Karson through a surgery for his reflux. We are hoping that with time and Karson getting bigger that all of it will take care of itself.
His sweat test came back negative today for CF which is what we thought would happen. Great news.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Life..
Well things have sure been busy today! Kyle and I returned home late last night from our trip to Vegas. It was great for us to get away and have fun with family and friends. While I was gone I spoke with both Karson's GI doctor's office and his lung dr, Dr. Guairn. All gave me not so great news.
Karson's stomach emptying study came back and his stomach empties very slowly - after 77 minutes he still had over half of his 5 ounce bottle in there. So he is on meds - very low dose- three times a day to help this. They hope this will also help with his reflux. We follow up with Dr. Barrios in a few weeks. I am glad they called and didn't make us wait to come in.
I also spoke with Dr. Guarin on Friday. She got the final results back from the bronch - Karson does aspirate into his lungs. She seemed displeased by this news. She had already spoken to Dr. Sathos - who did the GI stuff when she did the bronch- and wanted to talk to Dr. Barrios about his thoughts. Not sure what all this means and what they are thinking but depending on their recommendation will depend if we get a second opinion. So that was not the best news to get while I was gone. I just feel so sorry for my little man.
Today Karson had his sweat test, the results should be back tomorrow on that. So we shall see what we find out. He is sick with a cough and I hope it doesn't go into his lungs.
Kyle is back at work, working hard! He travels the next three weeks for work and before I know it, the older kids and I will be in Japan. I am working on Dolls for Daughters events. We have two major events in the next two months and want them to be a huge success.
Karson's stomach emptying study came back and his stomach empties very slowly - after 77 minutes he still had over half of his 5 ounce bottle in there. So he is on meds - very low dose- three times a day to help this. They hope this will also help with his reflux. We follow up with Dr. Barrios in a few weeks. I am glad they called and didn't make us wait to come in.
I also spoke with Dr. Guarin on Friday. She got the final results back from the bronch - Karson does aspirate into his lungs. She seemed displeased by this news. She had already spoken to Dr. Sathos - who did the GI stuff when she did the bronch- and wanted to talk to Dr. Barrios about his thoughts. Not sure what all this means and what they are thinking but depending on their recommendation will depend if we get a second opinion. So that was not the best news to get while I was gone. I just feel so sorry for my little man.
Today Karson had his sweat test, the results should be back tomorrow on that. So we shall see what we find out. He is sick with a cough and I hope it doesn't go into his lungs.
Kyle is back at work, working hard! He travels the next three weeks for work and before I know it, the older kids and I will be in Japan. I am working on Dolls for Daughters events. We have two major events in the next two months and want them to be a huge success.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Double Ear Infection
We were at the doctor today and Karson has a double ear infection - his 3rd in his right ear- and an eye infection. He is on meds for 10 days and lets hope he feels better soon. The great thing is his lungs are clear! So that is some good news.
The blog will be taking a break while Kyle and I take some much needed time away in Vegas. The kids will be with Suay and my Mom. Bailey has her first soccer game of the season this week and I am sad to miss it but she will do great. She got new shoes - pink- and new socks - pink and white - so she is ready to go. Kam wants "soccer shoes" so he is wearing Bailey's ones from last year that are pink and black and about 4 sizes too big. However it makes him happy.
The blog will be taking a break while Kyle and I take some much needed time away in Vegas. The kids will be with Suay and my Mom. Bailey has her first soccer game of the season this week and I am sad to miss it but she will do great. She got new shoes - pink- and new socks - pink and white - so she is ready to go. Kam wants "soccer shoes" so he is wearing Bailey's ones from last year that are pink and black and about 4 sizes too big. However it makes him happy.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Easter
This is a day late but oh well. I love holidays and I always have. I am sure it goes back to my childhood and how we would always spend holidays with family. We spent a lot more time at my Mom's parents' home with her side of the family for holidays but we did spend a lot of my with my Dad's parents as well. My Mom's family was closer growing up and we still are. However I do have fond memories of my Grandpa Mac and Grandma Cleo.
Being with family at the holidays and creating those memories is important for me to pass on to my children. Since we have both sides of our families in CO, we usually host holidays at our home. For the past several years we have had an annual Easter Egg hunt and this year was no different. As the kids get older we have fewer kids participate but those who do (5 this year) have fun and make it fun for all of us to watch. 
I love hearing the sound of the kids laughter as they play - outside though. I am not fond of them running in my house - how Bailey broke her arm. I also love seeing everyone get together and catch up. We always seem to have a wonderful meal as well.
My children had a good Easter and Bailey was so excited when she woke up and wondered if the Easter bunny arrived. We let her wake Kam so she could come and find her Easter basket. She found Karson's basket and her own. She was a little upset that her basket was the hardest to find but oh well. Bailey wanted to find my Easter basket since everyone got one, including Daddy, but I told her that the Easter bunny doesn't always remember the Mommy. She seemed okay with this! 
Kam's new Diego hat and glasses - birthday gift from GG.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Catching Up
Bailey does not complain much but in a matter of a few hours it went from "my ear hurts" to crying about the pain. A visit to the doctor's office showed a bad ear infection. We couldn't go one week without a visit to a doctor!
Last night Grandma came over with her gifts for the kiddos. Bailey how has her big wheel and the boys have their toys.
After sleeping poorly for a few nights and not feeling that great, I went to Urgent Care today. I have a sinus infection. Hope I feel better soon. Karson has been off the oxygen for a few days and I just hope that continues. Looking forward to our trip to Vegas this week. A nice trip to get away will do all of us good. Easter is tomorrow and I hope everyone has a great day.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Catching Up
I haven't blogged in a few days, if you noticed. =) However I am back tonight. I wanted to post some pictures from the zoo and of our visit with the Easter bunny but those will have to wait.
On Tuesday I took the kids to the mall to get their picture with the Easter bunny. They were dressed up in their Easter outfits and things were going good until Bailey told Kam to lay on the floor and he did - right in line, in his clean clothes for pictures. Kam loves his sister so much I think at this point in his life he'd jump off a cliff if she said so not knowing the outcome. Bailey loves Kam so much but also loves that he will do pretty much what she wants that she might just ask him to jump to see if he would.
Once Kam was off the floor and we discussed how we don't act that way in public, the Easter Bunny showed up. Kam was all to happy to wave to the bunny until it was his turn to sit on his lap. Bailey went right up and sat down, I handed Karson to the bunny and Kam cried. He didn't want to sit next to the bunny. But he did with big tears. They took two pictures and off we went. I seleted the "better" one and got my few pictures and off to get some lunch.
Race home, Kam gets a nap, Bailey gets changed and off to the dentist. Bailey gets a great teeth and a cleaning all in 30 minutes and $120.00 later. Oh well I guess that is what you pay to make sure your kiddos teeth are taken care of.
Bailey has been on spring break and loving that shes does not have to get up and great ready to leave each morning by 8 am. She hangs out with me, the brothers, Suay and Grandma. I am excited to say we (my Mom and I) are taking Bailey to the American Girl Store on Friday and Bailey has no idea. I have to figure out which doll to take for her because we are not going to tell her until we get there. I cannot wait to see the smile on her face. She will be so happy. It will be nice to spend some time with my Mom and Bailey, just the girls.
Kam has been back at school the last two days. He loves his preschool and I am happy that he is going to go mornings in the fall from 8-11 Monday-Friday. I think it will be good for him. He is still working on the potty training. I don't think I have ever seen a kid have to go so much. He doesn't always tell us but he goes all the time. I really hope by June he is totally potty trained but we shall see.
Karson is great. He actaully went all day yesterday with no oxygen. None for his naps and none last nigth. He was up several times because he lost his pacificer and wanted to eat but other than that, he was good. I think I was up more because I am used to being up and I'd swear I'd hear his pulse ox alarm only to get up and see it was at 92. During his first nap today he was down to 88 but his second nap he was above 90. He is now in bed and above 90. I just hope he can stay there. I'd love for him to be off the oxygen, it is coming close to two months. However if this is my only big struggle, I'll take it because it could be worse.
Dolls for Daughters is doing great! Another donation for our bowl a thon from a local nail salon. Sent about 20 more letters today requesting donations for our event to give away. Hope we have some success with getting more donation and 20 teams signed up. We also have more events coming up and more than anything, I'd just love to spread the word and get more people involved. We will need a lot of help in December and that is where volunteers are really going to be needed.
Love the fact my new Fit book arrived today. It is where I log my workouts and what I eat. I finished my last one (12 weeks) and I love the results I was able to track. I also read a great book in the last few days - Look Again, I am reading another called Run Like a Mother and have a 3rd in my car. I love to read and I always have a book on hand. If it is a great book, I find ways to finish it. I am always looking for great workout music and great books to read. I read a lot so I love to hear suggestions.
Hope tomorrow is a wonderful day!
On Tuesday I took the kids to the mall to get their picture with the Easter bunny. They were dressed up in their Easter outfits and things were going good until Bailey told Kam to lay on the floor and he did - right in line, in his clean clothes for pictures. Kam loves his sister so much I think at this point in his life he'd jump off a cliff if she said so not knowing the outcome. Bailey loves Kam so much but also loves that he will do pretty much what she wants that she might just ask him to jump to see if he would.
Once Kam was off the floor and we discussed how we don't act that way in public, the Easter Bunny showed up. Kam was all to happy to wave to the bunny until it was his turn to sit on his lap. Bailey went right up and sat down, I handed Karson to the bunny and Kam cried. He didn't want to sit next to the bunny. But he did with big tears. They took two pictures and off we went. I seleted the "better" one and got my few pictures and off to get some lunch.
Race home, Kam gets a nap, Bailey gets changed and off to the dentist. Bailey gets a great teeth and a cleaning all in 30 minutes and $120.00 later. Oh well I guess that is what you pay to make sure your kiddos teeth are taken care of.
Bailey has been on spring break and loving that shes does not have to get up and great ready to leave each morning by 8 am. She hangs out with me, the brothers, Suay and Grandma. I am excited to say we (my Mom and I) are taking Bailey to the American Girl Store on Friday and Bailey has no idea. I have to figure out which doll to take for her because we are not going to tell her until we get there. I cannot wait to see the smile on her face. She will be so happy. It will be nice to spend some time with my Mom and Bailey, just the girls.
Kam has been back at school the last two days. He loves his preschool and I am happy that he is going to go mornings in the fall from 8-11 Monday-Friday. I think it will be good for him. He is still working on the potty training. I don't think I have ever seen a kid have to go so much. He doesn't always tell us but he goes all the time. I really hope by June he is totally potty trained but we shall see.
Karson is great. He actaully went all day yesterday with no oxygen. None for his naps and none last nigth. He was up several times because he lost his pacificer and wanted to eat but other than that, he was good. I think I was up more because I am used to being up and I'd swear I'd hear his pulse ox alarm only to get up and see it was at 92. During his first nap today he was down to 88 but his second nap he was above 90. He is now in bed and above 90. I just hope he can stay there. I'd love for him to be off the oxygen, it is coming close to two months. However if this is my only big struggle, I'll take it because it could be worse.
Dolls for Daughters is doing great! Another donation for our bowl a thon from a local nail salon. Sent about 20 more letters today requesting donations for our event to give away. Hope we have some success with getting more donation and 20 teams signed up. We also have more events coming up and more than anything, I'd just love to spread the word and get more people involved. We will need a lot of help in December and that is where volunteers are really going to be needed.
Love the fact my new Fit book arrived today. It is where I log my workouts and what I eat. I finished my last one (12 weeks) and I love the results I was able to track. I also read a great book in the last few days - Look Again, I am reading another called Run Like a Mother and have a 3rd in my car. I love to read and I always have a book on hand. If it is a great book, I find ways to finish it. I am always looking for great workout music and great books to read. I read a lot so I love to hear suggestions.
Hope tomorrow is a wonderful day!
Monday, March 29, 2010
77 Minutes and the Zoo
Today was Karson's stomach emptying study. I was not sure exactly what to expect other than I needed to arrive before 9 and bring all of Karson's "eating supplies". I also had to make sure he didn't have anything to eat or drink after 6 am.
Last night was another long night with Karson's oxygen coming out of his nose when he moves to his side. It is fine when he is on his back but once he moves to his side, all bets are off and the pluse ox will got off pretty soon. So between Kyle and I watching a not so nice movie - Last House on the Left I think is what it was called- and the alarm going off there was little sleep to be had at our house.
Karson ate at 5:30 am and then was ready to be up at 6 am. So it was up time, inhaler time, bath time, get ready time. All this was done before 7 am. I got ready and got the older kiddos their food before my Mom arrived so I could go to Karson's apt at PS/L.
Once we arrived and were checked in, Roman was the man I would be hanging out with for the next 77 minutes. Didn't realize it would be that long but it was a series of 16 2 minute photos followed by a 3 minute rest. He asked me if I brought help me with me to hold down Karson and I said "No". I also explained to him that I had a great baby and I thought Karson would do just fine. He then asked if I knew what to expect and I said no. I went on to explain that Dr. Barrios' nurse wasn't that great at her job in my opinion and didn't tell me anything except where to be and when and what to bring. So here we were.
Karson did great! He was tried around 10 am and wanted to sleep but couldn't fall asleep. He was great until number 16 when he was over it. Was crying and wanted to be off the table and in his chair. Roman (who has 7 children ranging from 32 to 7) was fun to talk to about life and children. We left there and headed home to get the older kids for some time at the zoo.
Grandma, the kids and I spent several hours at the zoo today. We had a nice time and the weather was just perfect. We rode the trian and Kam loved it! He wanted to do it "more, more" but we needed to get going. I have some cute pictures that I will have to post tomorrow.
Everyone came home and the boys took naps, Bailey played, Suay came over so I could go to the gym and the store. I think tonight will be an early night for all of us.
On a side note, Roman said our results would be finsihed tomorrow but Dr. Barrios' office won't give us the results over the phone and we don't go back to see him for three weeks. I guess I will request the records myself so I can see what they say. =)
Last night was another long night with Karson's oxygen coming out of his nose when he moves to his side. It is fine when he is on his back but once he moves to his side, all bets are off and the pluse ox will got off pretty soon. So between Kyle and I watching a not so nice movie - Last House on the Left I think is what it was called- and the alarm going off there was little sleep to be had at our house.
Karson ate at 5:30 am and then was ready to be up at 6 am. So it was up time, inhaler time, bath time, get ready time. All this was done before 7 am. I got ready and got the older kiddos their food before my Mom arrived so I could go to Karson's apt at PS/L.
Once we arrived and were checked in, Roman was the man I would be hanging out with for the next 77 minutes. Didn't realize it would be that long but it was a series of 16 2 minute photos followed by a 3 minute rest. He asked me if I brought help me with me to hold down Karson and I said "No". I also explained to him that I had a great baby and I thought Karson would do just fine. He then asked if I knew what to expect and I said no. I went on to explain that Dr. Barrios' nurse wasn't that great at her job in my opinion and didn't tell me anything except where to be and when and what to bring. So here we were.
Karson did great! He was tried around 10 am and wanted to sleep but couldn't fall asleep. He was great until number 16 when he was over it. Was crying and wanted to be off the table and in his chair. Roman (who has 7 children ranging from 32 to 7) was fun to talk to about life and children. We left there and headed home to get the older kids for some time at the zoo.
Grandma, the kids and I spent several hours at the zoo today. We had a nice time and the weather was just perfect. We rode the trian and Kam loved it! He wanted to do it "more, more" but we needed to get going. I have some cute pictures that I will have to post tomorrow.
Everyone came home and the boys took naps, Bailey played, Suay came over so I could go to the gym and the store. I think tonight will be an early night for all of us.
On a side note, Roman said our results would be finsihed tomorrow but Dr. Barrios' office won't give us the results over the phone and we don't go back to see him for three weeks. I guess I will request the records myself so I can see what they say. =)
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Dolls for Daughters
I could have never guessed that at some point in my life I would have created my own non profit and would be giving back the way that I am. I thank Kenzi for showing me the way and allowing me to make a difference while I honor her. Dolls for Daughters has become one of the best things I have ever done with my life! I am so amazed at what a difference has been made in three years and how my idea of collecting dolls in 2007 has grown into this.
We had a great night last night at Wystone's World Teas and our Ladies Night Benefit Brew. I am amazed at how many people are willing to stand behind DfD and donate back to us. Our donate page continues to grow. Ways to get involved continue to grow.
We have our 2nd annual Bowl a Thon in May and already have two lane sponsors that were lane sponsors last year. It is wonderful to have their support again. I know we will get at least 10 lane sponsors again if not reach our goal of 20.
My heart smiles every time something good happens for Dolls for Daughters. I could never thank my supporters enough. I could never put into words what it means every time someone donates a doll or donates money or gives back. Each time, each way, it is honoring my baby girl Kenzi. It goes to show that one person, one little person, Kenzi can and will make a difference forever.
I am blessed to be the mother of Kenzi! I love you sweet girl!
We had a great night last night at Wystone's World Teas and our Ladies Night Benefit Brew. I am amazed at how many people are willing to stand behind DfD and donate back to us. Our donate page continues to grow. Ways to get involved continue to grow.
We have our 2nd annual Bowl a Thon in May and already have two lane sponsors that were lane sponsors last year. It is wonderful to have their support again. I know we will get at least 10 lane sponsors again if not reach our goal of 20.
My heart smiles every time something good happens for Dolls for Daughters. I could never thank my supporters enough. I could never put into words what it means every time someone donates a doll or donates money or gives back. Each time, each way, it is honoring my baby girl Kenzi. It goes to show that one person, one little person, Kenzi can and will make a difference forever.
I am blessed to be the mother of Kenzi! I love you sweet girl!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Boys are Blessings!
Kyle and Bailey went to Vail to ski with Ted and Ava this weekend. It is a great chance for Bailey to see her friend and do something on Spring Break. So the boys and I have done some much needed hanging out. They are both so sweet and so much fun.
Last night I gave them a bath together for the first time. Kam didn't totally understand why I wouldn't let there be so much water but he was able to have some of his own fun after I took Karson out. It is so much easier for me to give a bath or a shower to two of my kids at a time. I would be giving baths for three hours a time if I did them on their own. Plus the kids like to play together.
Here are some pictures I took. I have really tried to start taking more pictures because I don't want to miss some great moments. Plus Bailey has so many pictures that I felt bad for the boys.
I hope that you have some wonderful blessings in your life! I count these two as some of my blessings. I love you Kam and Karson.
Last night I gave them a bath together for the first time. Kam didn't totally understand why I wouldn't let there be so much water but he was able to have some of his own fun after I took Karson out. It is so much easier for me to give a bath or a shower to two of my kids at a time. I would be giving baths for three hours a time if I did them on their own. Plus the kids like to play together.
Here are some pictures I took. I have really tried to start taking more pictures because I don't want to miss some great moments. Plus Bailey has so many pictures that I felt bad for the boys.
My boys - Kamden and Karson in the tub!
I hope that you have some wonderful blessings in your life! I count these two as some of my blessings. I love you Kam and Karson.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
GI Follow Up
Today Karson made his visit to see Dr. Barrios. As usual, his nurse acts like she has never seen us before, seems to have no clue as to what is going on and why we are even there. I wanted to say to her - don't you know why we are here? Isn't it Dr. Barrios who wanted Karson to have a swallow study and an upper endoscopy? But I didn't. I told her we were there to follow up on these two items.
When Dr. Barrios comes in he is as friendly as always. Looks over the reports and comments how he has several copies of the same report but oh well. We talk about the endoscopy and how the results showed a little irritation in his esophagus but not place else. He was pleased with this. He was also pleased with the results of the Bronch.
We then discussed his reflux and how he even refluxes up his "solids". It is hard for me to refer to applesauce as a solid but it is. This made him think about having the stomach emptying study done. He said because Karson will reflux food hours after he has had it makes him want to know how long it takes for his food to empty. However he isn't sure what he will do with the results if it shows it takes a long time. He does not want to put him on meds for it at this point because many of them have side effects he doesn't like and I didn't like. He also said he is not interested in talking surgery at this point and I agreed. We both want to take the conservative approach. (Had he said surgery, I would be getting a second GI opinion as well).
He didn't have a copy of the swallow study so he asked his nurse to get those as well. When he had those in hand her reviewed them and didn't want to make any changes to what we were doing. He said he would have his nurse set up the stomach emptying study and I would be back in 3-4 weeks.
The nurse comes in and cannot even say our name and assumes we want to go to Sky Ridge. I tell her that actually I'd like to go to PSL and she acts like this is too much work for her. Wow... Everything is set up for Monday for the emptying study.
Not what I want to spend one day next week doing but what I will do so my son's GI doctor will have an answer on how Karson processes his food. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. However I am just trying to do the best for my son and make him better. I cannot imagine what it is like to reflux all day long even if it isn't coming out. It comes up - Karson has shown that and I know for a fact it does. It will come up and he will gag and cough come but nothing comes out. I want to find some relief for him that doesn't mean surgery, that doesn't mean a ton of meds but maybe altering how and what we feed him. Just like the formula that he is on is hypoallergenic and ingredients are broken down to their simplest and purest form so they are easier for the body to process and digest. So this does help with his reflux and how he tolerates it. I'd like to be able to help him like "solids" more so the refluxing isn't so bad.
We go back on the 22nd to see what he thinks/says. In the mean time I just hope and pray for the best for Karson and that he doesn't get sick again. That is one of the reasons we will be in Denver this weekend while Kyle and Bailey will be skiing in Vail. Making the best choices I can for my son.
When Dr. Barrios comes in he is as friendly as always. Looks over the reports and comments how he has several copies of the same report but oh well. We talk about the endoscopy and how the results showed a little irritation in his esophagus but not place else. He was pleased with this. He was also pleased with the results of the Bronch.
We then discussed his reflux and how he even refluxes up his "solids". It is hard for me to refer to applesauce as a solid but it is. This made him think about having the stomach emptying study done. He said because Karson will reflux food hours after he has had it makes him want to know how long it takes for his food to empty. However he isn't sure what he will do with the results if it shows it takes a long time. He does not want to put him on meds for it at this point because many of them have side effects he doesn't like and I didn't like. He also said he is not interested in talking surgery at this point and I agreed. We both want to take the conservative approach. (Had he said surgery, I would be getting a second GI opinion as well).
He didn't have a copy of the swallow study so he asked his nurse to get those as well. When he had those in hand her reviewed them and didn't want to make any changes to what we were doing. He said he would have his nurse set up the stomach emptying study and I would be back in 3-4 weeks.
The nurse comes in and cannot even say our name and assumes we want to go to Sky Ridge. I tell her that actually I'd like to go to PSL and she acts like this is too much work for her. Wow... Everything is set up for Monday for the emptying study.
Not what I want to spend one day next week doing but what I will do so my son's GI doctor will have an answer on how Karson processes his food. Maybe you agree, maybe you don't. However I am just trying to do the best for my son and make him better. I cannot imagine what it is like to reflux all day long even if it isn't coming out. It comes up - Karson has shown that and I know for a fact it does. It will come up and he will gag and cough come but nothing comes out. I want to find some relief for him that doesn't mean surgery, that doesn't mean a ton of meds but maybe altering how and what we feed him. Just like the formula that he is on is hypoallergenic and ingredients are broken down to their simplest and purest form so they are easier for the body to process and digest. So this does help with his reflux and how he tolerates it. I'd like to be able to help him like "solids" more so the refluxing isn't so bad.
We go back on the 22nd to see what he thinks/says. In the mean time I just hope and pray for the best for Karson and that he doesn't get sick again. That is one of the reasons we will be in Denver this weekend while Kyle and Bailey will be skiing in Vail. Making the best choices I can for my son.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
2 in 1 Day
Yes I am blogging twice today. =) I just had to do one for Karson and then the other stuff for the day.
My fab web designer has added the Kenzi's Kidz page to our Dolls for Daughters website. Check it out! I am super excited this part of our program is going to be kicked off this year!
Bailey and I played in the snow today. Here are some pictures.
"The snow is too hard"
I can help Mommy!
My fab web designer has added the Kenzi's Kidz page to our Dolls for Daughters website. Check it out! I am super excited this part of our program is going to be kicked off this year!
"The snow is too hard"
I can help Mommy!
Our Snowman
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